I'm Not Okay

I'm Not Okay
Written by: Jeannette Torres

"We create an outline for our lives and if we don’t meet our own requirements the world comes crashing down."


I recently took a day off. I turned off my alarm, called out of work, and laid in bed till about 4 PM. I didn’t do so because I felt like it, I did it because I was physically can’t-get-out-of-bed sick. Yet, I still felt guilty. Guilty that I had a day to myself. Guilty that I was laying in bed instead of working. Guilty that someone was taking care of me. Guilty that I was not okay

I started getting frustrated with myself, and then I was getting frustrated about getting frustrated…on top of still being sick. It was a horrible cycle. I finally sucked it up and told myself that it’s okay to be not okay, which is the TRUTH. 

Sometimes we have too high of expectations for ourselves. We let society tell us who we are and let social media make us think we need to have it all together. (FYI: social media is only surface level and we post what we want people to see). I think we stress ourselves out. We create an outline for our lives and if we don’t meet our own requirements the world comes crashing down. We don’t leave room for rest, days to clear our mind, or days to just lounge around in sweats. We don’t leave room to be not okay. Since when did being not okay become equated with defeat? When we accept that it’s okay to be not okay we end up learning more about ourselves and who made us. Did you catch that? Who.

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

When we expect ourselves to solve all of life’s problems, when we run to “security” that’s not Jesus, when we keep carrying that which we were never meant to carry… that’s when we’re not okay, in the worst sense of the term. 

Let God handle the craziness of life and allow Him how to show you what it is to be not okay; to admit that you don’t have it all together, but trusting in Him to carry you through it all. Give him all you have in exchange for his infinite rest. God’s gentle and understanding. He doesn’t make lists like we make for ourselves. Exchange your burdens for the ease and lightness of his. 

Life’s not about having it together. I’ve only experienced 23 years of it and realized that it’s about learning how to get back up. Allow yourself to be picked up by God and those he places around you. Admit your mistakes, your flaws, and your not-okay-days. Enjoy the beauty in the struggle. 

And remember, His mercies are new every morning, and it’s always morning somewhere. 

Read more of Jeannette's work at: www.tipsbyj.wordpress.com

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